People all over the world join hands, start a love train, love train

Of course, the wisdom of the O'Jays sounds better if you've never actually used public transportation. But it's the spirit that seems appropriate. So in that spirit: Happy New Year. I hope that 2006 brings you true happiness and much good luck.

Malls are so bourgeois, no?

Maybe the real reason Lexus and jewelry ads are so ridiculous is that the rich just don't do Christmas shopping.

Because no one's ever used cleavage to sell anything

Bob Parsons trots out the same GoDaddy ad strategy from last year and calls it "too edgy."

One paragraph of pure genius

Finally, TIME gives us something worth reading.

Wow. They say it and spray it.

I was right in the middle of this story about commercialism vs art in the graffiti world when I got distracted by a Neiman Marcus sale ad. Anyway. I think there's some controversy about a new Sony campaign: "Among artists who risk arrest to put up paintings and posters...the co-opting of street art by corporate America is a touchy issue. Patrick McNeil, a member of a three-person street-art collective called Faile, accused Sony of 'trying to cash in on an art movement where they and the product they are selling don't belong' and derided Sony's painters as 'an army of pimped-out artists.'"

Gosh. Did he say "pimped-out?" That's an allegation people in advertising never hear. That stings!

Then there's this: "For New York-based street artist Michael De Feo, the PSP campaign seems to elicit a shrug. 'Who are we to say they can't do it?'....the worse crime in Sony's PSP ad campaign is a lack of originality. 'People seem to get all bent out of shape with campaigns like this, when the fact remains that most of the public has the ability to tell good art from bad.'"

I'd also argue that the public can tell art from horseshit. Is all graffitti -- the non-ad graffiti -- good? Is it good just because it's underground? Does the fact that you paid for your own spray-can make you good? Or witty? Or able to see vital social truths hidden from the masses? Is it possible that graffiti purism is just played out? After all, graffiti is now guilty of every sin normally associated with advertising: it's disruptive and obnoxious but so ubiquitous that it can be easily ignored. (Well, unless you use it to taunt the police.)

But the one thing graffiti isn't is subversive. Not when its defenders betray a mindset that can only be called Establishmentarian and when its leading figures have painstakingly cultivated their own worldwide fame. Somehow, I don't think Sony is the only problem here.

Greeting cards must be bought by the same people who read newspapers

The people at American Greetings don't care about your silly e-cards. Just another fad!

Like the horseless carriage.

Singing in exultation will commence shortly

I have been to two grocery stores already this morning and it's quite striking how friendly -- even merry if you will -- everyone seems to be. At a grocery store. With a day of errands and preparations ahead. Yes. I'm saying that panic has given way to good humor. Don't you love that?

Have a very happy holiday.

Formulaic is not a criticism if the formula works

The only reason to note Motel 6 podcasts is to marvel at Tom Bodett, a man whose voice has launched a thousand ad careers. Some days it seems you cannot throw a presentation board down any agency hallway in Dallas without hitting 4-5 CDs or producers who won awards writing Bodett's copy. It could be his delivery. It could be Stan's writers. But let's put aside that Lennon-or-McCartney argument and simply admire the long, successful partnership of a client, an agency and a spokesman. Amazing.

Yes, my grades would have been much better if it hadn't been for all those trashcan punch billboards

As everybody knows, your ability to see through the devious, manipulative nature of advertising develops in an instant on your 22nd birthday. Before that, you're sheep. So it makes all kinds of sense for colleges to ban liquor ads. And it's getting results: "the level of binge drinking -- defined as at least five consecutive drinks for men and four for women -- remains at 44 percent of students, the same as in 1993." Oh wait. Well, in the academic world, it's the unproven thought that counts.

Is it really work if you can do it in your underwear?

The hardest part about working from home is convincing people that you are in fact working.

Mark Cuban's crystal ball is surprisingly self-promotional

He steered clear of Maverick boasting but Mark Cuban's 2006 predictions (reg. req. I think) do manage to prop up every other business he's invested in. HDTV sales explosion? Check. The revolution of movie distribution? Check. Cracks at Bill Gates and Donald Trump, check check. Maybe the only thing missing is hardcore NYTimes bashing. Oh, there it is.

NOTE: If Media Daily News does ask you to register, resist. It's not that Cuban's predictions are so spectacularly unremarkable. Rather, MDN thinks people want and need 10-15 media-related emails a day and there's just no reasoning with them.

Oh Mr Grant!

Life was simpler when bosses were gruff and hard-drinking and you could count on Murray to smooth things over. At least, that's my interpretation of a survey finding that Martha Stewart reminds more people of their real-life supervisor. That is to say, she's nice but fake-nice. And therefore dangerous -- something a newly former CFO or, I dunno, Alexis might agree with.

But really: isn't fake-nice our own fault? Isn't it the only acceptable conduct when anything else might be grounds for a lawsuit? Depending on your answer, there's a Human Resources presentation starting soon in the cafeteria. Please be on time.

Oh, you meant "direct," like without delay?

Bank of America experiences a service interruption and suddenly it's like deja vu all over again.

Will their sales leaders win electric cars?

A new approach to selling electric power: if the pyramid scheme doesn't scare you, the executive leadership's record of bankruptcy should.

This will change Tuesdays forever

Evidently fond of dogpiling, WalMart adds to Warner Studio's holiday from hell with yet more bad news. Warner Home Video will no longer be the store's category captain. Aside from having to rip the C off their jersey, that leaves Warner without captain's access to all-important competitive data, promotional coziness and even, yes, prestige: "the role of captain is coveted because it allows the studio to influence the strategic direction and growth of the entire industry." The good news: Warner people can now get the hell out of Bentonville.

Let the slow, determined clapping begin

Like Gene Hackman with a bunch of scared, skinny farm kids, Grant McCracken measures out the advertising court and reminds us of our own meaning-making abilities.

He has supplied purpose. And if the average Omnicom vice president will just restrain himself a bit, "we make meanings" can be the bold, eloquent statement it should be. Not "we make meanings you can measure" and not "we make meanings and results" because that's implicit, right? It is about the ideas. And some self-confidence.

Now let's win this for all the small thinkers that never had a chance to get here.

Quote of the day

A look at Anita Roddick's next plan: "Business life, she says, is 'boring', so it is time to offload bundles of cash on the doorsteps of deserving charities instead."

Smokin' and drinkin'

The logic is flawless. RJReynolds' newest approach is "a grass-roots marketing campaign to associate Camel cigarettes with trendy cocktails — and encourage young people to drink." Because drinking leads to smoking. I can only assume the next phase involves an image-building promotional tie-in with Trojans.

But really: isn't all tobacco marketing "grass-roots?" It's not like the law allows these companies to pursue splashy, multi-media campaigns for a primetime audience. So their campaigns exist under the radar, starting at bars and events and growing into direct mail programs. If that seems pernicious, if that seems upsetting -- and it is for state attorneys general, public health advocates and most important Rob Reiner -- there is one alternative: allow cigarettes to advertise on TV. In a more public arena and with network pressure, wouldn't they feel obligated to tone it down? Go a little more tame, bland and ultimately forgettable?

Or am I drunk?

Operators standing by

You can read and read about digital cameras but the biggest development is from FujiFilm who has chosen the interesting strategy of selling cameras as if they're prescription meds. Have you seen the spot? Two minutes of pure direct response. Complete with animated diagrams, before-and-after demos, even a sweepstakes.

Intriguing. And -- kinda? -- compelling.

Then again, maybe I was just won over by the complete absence of side effects.

Barneys validates our existence

The NYC store will return to Dallas. Oh thank God. It's hard to say what has scarred Dallas more -- Barneys' leaving back in the 90s because their "hair salon famously ignited a feud when it refused to do big hair" or, you know, that whole Kennedy thing. But better days are ahead: "Dallas is in the midst of a cultural and financial renaissance and its residents have become more cosmopolitan, these people said." Fabulous!