I spent all evening driving around looking for a bar that served Earth Day drink specials

Isn't that the key? You can eradicate snakes or defeat European armies but it's an association with alcoholic refreshment that really transforms your day into something important.

(I only bring this up as a way to point out that, although the Cinco de Mayo Dos Equis radio seems less fun than other Most Interesting Man in the World spots, the crucial question might actually be: would you date him?)

ADDED: I've rewritten that first paragraph twice now and it's still stupid. Sorry.