Details magazine: the perfect place to dispel all those gay rumors

Sometimes you run across a news account that's repugnant on every possible level. Animal cruelty stories, to give but one example. Another: recaps of Hennessey promotional events. Simply put, it hurts me deeply every time affluent people score free drinks. So wrong! 500 models? So expected! And then there is the participation of Lance Armstrong.

I never thought I'd say this but the more Armstrong lives a fun-filled, cocktail-drinking, Matthew McConaughey-befriending, Sheryl Crow-abandoning, Details cover-worthy life -- a life he has certainly earned -- the more his appeal seems to fade. He was simply more likeable when he was on a bike. And it may already be evident in his fund-raising efforts: "his self-proclaimed war on cancer remains a struggle. Since he threw himself behind the cause, no significant financial progress has been made. Fund-raising dinners, fancy rubber bands, and rousing speeches net millions, but what Armstrong needs in order to make a difference is counted in the billions. He’s used to getting what he wants. But now that he’s a mortal again, he has to reacquaint himself with words like no and wait."

Of course, it's peculiar to label an ability to "net millions" as "a struggle." But I think we like our heroes best when they're in the midst of a great battle, as opposed to having won it and enjoying the spoils. Or maybe it's just that McConaughey has a knack for damaging everything he touches.