Nothing says you've arrived like buying a de Kooning at this season's art auctions; just be prepared for plenty of competition from young American billlionaires -- the ones who aren't facing pervy sex charges -- and Russian financiers -- the ones who don't happen to be in jail. The tension! The riches! "Two years ago financial analysts predicted that the art market was on the brink of topping out, but it has defied economic indicators." And never mind why so much art is up for sale ("the '3 Ds' — debt, divorce and death — bring art to the market"). Just concentrate on the sudden status you'll enjoy. And for God's sake, be careful.
Or, if you're trying to stick to your budget this month, there's always eBay. As a Murketing commentor writes, "the combination of art and commerence always has unexpected results," which is, coincidentally, EXACTLY what that guy on Harry Hines told me when I bought the elephant statue out of the back of his van.