Of course the mob jokes were unavoidable

One impression of the new campaign to help save Italy's cultural treasures.

Me to August: uncle already

A cooler, catastrophe-free September can't begin soon enough.

The brand, like Hugh, isn't looking good these days

It is perhaps fitting that a writer named Bambi would report on Playboy's new online magazine. Give her credit though. She gets right to the problem. Or in this case, problems. Magazines and porn just ain't what they used to be. When Playboy debuted, we were an offline world and porn had to be softened to be made acceptable but now, "on the Web, there is no such thing as civilized sex." So can Playboy save at least their brand? Is it enough to update the bunny costume and re-introduce nightclubs? Has Maxim's clubs already outpaced them? And finally, should we care? Alas, Bambi cannot tell us.

Do you really want Penney's to rock your prom?

They're based in Plano so they may have a skewed estimate of how much schoolkids can spend, but Penney's is going all-out for the teen dollar.

Good/bad news if Mary Richards was your role model

I almost guarantee the execution won't be as funny as the concept: Mary Tyler Moore is slated to appear as a local news anchor on this season's That 70s Show.

Thanks for all those profits. Now we'd like more.

Two record companies want Steve Jobs to change iTunes pricing so they can charge more for the most popular songs. Jobs almost always wins these battles. But now -- could it be? -- he's even more powerful than Wal-Mart: "these days, allies and adversaries both agree, he has more power online than Wal-Mart has in the bricks-and-mortar world. Apple commands an estimated 75 percent of digital music sales, and roughly 80 percent of sales of MP3 players...." It's a fight over profits as well as platforms but it's astounding how everyone has forgotten that it was Jobs -- not record executives -- who got people to pay for the product. At least Jimmy Iovine knows it's a continuing process: "'We need to convert a lot more people to the habit of buying music online. I don't think a way to convert more people is to raise the price.'" And then there are artists who realize a well-planned free offering is a good investment in audience loyalty.

All of which is useful background for Hollywood's piracy claims. Two things. If movie studio sob stories about lost profits are true, then the problem is not that their product sucks. It's that they haven't figured out that whole customer-centricity thing: "some critics of Hollywood's response to digital piracy say that the film industry is not addressing the broader challenge: a rapid and epochal shift in how audiences watch movies. 'I think the movie business is in the same place the music business was in 2001 and 2002. They're just sitting it out and not doing much to put legitimate movie offerings online.'" And second, when the piracy card is played, gadgets suffer, making my cell phone and my DVD player less cool. And that is just so wrong.

It's like you could write a book about this stuff.

Sharon, you Cylon slut

The men of Galactica continue to disappoint. When it comes to killing the enemy, only women are brave enough to do it. Whipped much?

Headed south

According to the new Nielsen numbers, TV audiences are becoming older, more ethnic and more Southern. What a coincidence. So is the general population. Interesting, then, that people making most media and marketing decisions are not.

Animators create funny numbers

Why is the SEC looking at Pixar? Is this part of their investigation into insider trading at DreamWorks? And would it be Karma for DreamWorks' Jeffrey Katzenberg -- who, as a Disney executive, turned down the chance to buy a fledgling Pixar on the cheap -- to go to jail?

Maybe they're just not into you: an advice book for publishers and advertisers

The desperate quest for men continues. Sports Illustrated still thinks they can make it on TV, this time partnering with OLN to take on ESPN. Have you seen ESPN lately? Might be easy. And Lord knows, SI needs to turn a profit if only to reinstate staff expense accounts.

Then there's Playboy. Is it worth exploring why Playboy has to launch an online magazine to re-capture ad dollars, or is it only an opportunity to make predictable jokes and talk porn?

Somehow you can't get upset about a weak dollar

A fountain for capitalists.

Corporate giants learn that comedy is hard

For some reason, this should be funnier: SBC-EchoStar brand DISH will give free programming to the first town that renames itself "DISH." And yes, it'll probably have to be all caps.

But the money is real

Fantasy football is now a billion dollar industry. And what really gets everyone excited is the demo. "The average fantasy player is a 37-year-old white-collar man with a bachelor's degree and an annual household income of $76,689."

Food and gas, next exit. Maybe.

Clearly William Spain sees roadside chain restaurants as visual pollution. Nonetheless, he manages to pen a quick little article examining how high gas prices are hurting the customer base at Cracker Barrel and Appleby's. It must be true. Because Wal-Mart's data says it is.

Air kisses from Arkansas

Because I do not make a living in New York City magazine circles, I am neither excited nor astounded by the hefty Fall Vogue. But Jossip does and is and recognizes that the tectonic plates of culture are shifting when Wal-Mart buys 8 pages of ads.

Technology, analytics and beer

One article, so many important learnings. Among them, tanpin kanri is not a Fu move, 7-Eleven clerks are more tech-savvy than I am and -- happily -- I'm not the only person who's there for the 40-ouncers. Also: when CIOs use the phrase "moment of truth," it's time to find another buzzword.

From the Pauline Kael School of Business

Like any good marketing person, I predict consumer behavior based solely on my own quixotic personal tastes. So imagine how amazed I am that Blockbuster is still in business when I haven't been a customer for years. Shocking! Also surprising: "there were nearly 3.2 billion rental transactions last year. By contrast, box-office admissions were less than half of that number, DVD sales totaled about 1.1 billion and there were fewer than 350,000 purchases of movies through video on demand or pay per view." No wonder theater owners are cranky.

Blockbuster claims to be evolving into "'the place where people can rent, buy or trade movies or games, in store or online.'" Good thing. Their main advantage -- the ability to offer movies 6 weeks earlier than cable and pay-per-view -- depends on the wisdom and mercy of movie studio executives which, judging by recent product offerings, are not qualities commonly found in Hollywood.

Is it me or does it seem like anyone whose profits depend on the movie business better have a Plan B these days?

MORE: Grant McCracken lets his big brain ponder the movie business for about 10 seconds and naturally comes up with the reason there's a slump: blockbusters are next to impossible in an age of audience fragmentation. But is there really a slump?

Suddenly People Meters look reliable

Podcast listeners may be older than you think. Then again, maybe not. Helpful, isn't it?

Apparently 30-something women do not read

I'm happy that boomer women have More magazine. And it makes me laugh when the publisher says things like, "'the mistake marketers are making [is] assuming that 25-year-old girls are going to spend $12,000 on a watch or spend money on an expensive outfit. Those people have absolutely no money.'" That's genuinely funny. But I just wish there was something to bridge the Cosmo-I-just-discovered-sex years and the reading-about-retirement-funds stage. Or is that what Ladies Home Journal is supposed to be?

If so, I'm in big trouble.

Open your blue books and begin

Compare and contrast. Five paragraphs. While Target travels to Manhattan -- an isle where they have no stores and no immediate plans for stores -- to stage acrobatic runway shows and single-advertiser magazine issues, New Yorkers can't be talked into a Wal-Mart. The folks in Bentonville are trying. Hard. "Wal-Mart has sought to bolster its cause with clever advertisements, like a full-page one that ran in The Staten Island Advance. The ad read: 'On Staten Island, you can start the Marathon, take a ride on the Ferry, spend a day at Historic Richmond Town, and do just about anything. The only thing missing is every day low prices.'" New Yorkers' reaction? "'We need this Wal-Mart like a hole in the head.'"