Just one more alcohol note and I'll stop. Because I can quit anytime. Promise.

Norman Adami, Miller CEO, gets all regretful: "as consumers began to look for more personalization and sophistication...Brewers stuck to the formulas that had worked before: mass-advertising campaigns with lots of bikinis and bad jokes. 'We were promoting sameness and increasingly going lowbrow. It is as if we were promoting beer as the official beverage of the knuckleheads.'"