Thursday, May 31, 2007

This wouldn't be happening if I ruled the world

Projects that should never have been funded: "Diane English has a solid cast and an Aug. 6 start date for 'The Women,' the remake of the 1939 classic that she adapted and will direct. Meg Ryan, Annette Bening, Eva Mendes, Jada Pinkett Smith, Debra Messing and Candice Bergen have either signed or are near committing to star in a contemporized version of the George Cukor-directed film....The project's less-than-$20 million budget has been financed by Inferno Entertainment, Picturehouse and soapmaker Dove, which will make 'The Women' a major cog in a marketing campaign for its female-friendly brand."

Really: Dove and Meg Ryan? I feel very, very, very sick right now. The original film is a perfect movie, something that became obvious the first time someone remade it back in 1956.

Other films currently in the works and that may suck: two Coco Chanel bios. Maybe they'll succeed where Katherine Hepburn failed. Maybe I'm too sentimental about the subject to approve. But the biopic I'd prefer to see would be of Elsa Schiaparelli, the woman who gave us dyed-to-match zippers (think about it), Dali fabrics (for surreal), shocking pink (which begat Barbie pink) and who inspired many of Rosalind Russell's outfits in "The Women" (the perfect original). I know this might be fashion blasphemy -- fashphemy, if you will -- but wasn't Schiaparelli brainier than Chanel? I think so. And, evidently, meaner. Smart, abusive, angry -- c'mon! Who wouldn't want to watch a movie about this woman?

Goes without saying I'd cast Johnny Depp in there somewhere.


SuzanH said...

Oooh, I'd love to see Schiaparelli - that would rock.

I hate remakes. There is no way it's going to be any good anyway - and you're right, Meg Ryan and Dove? C'mon! BLech for Annette Bening, too. Leave the original alone.

Didn't Jennifer Love Hewitt star in some bio? Gack. It's all bad.

Make the logo bigger said...

Meg always struck me as loopy, bordering on spacey way. Not Kevin, you know, but, like, ozone ranger?

Irene Done said...

I looked up Diane English on IMDB just to see if there was anything I was missing about her. Nope. Murphy Brown is really the last thing she did. What makes anyone think she and Meg Ryan are two people who really can give us a new take here? Drives me insane.