Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Q: What's worse than being at Six Flags?

A: Being drunk at Six Flags: "The two Arlington parks [Six Flags and Hurricane Harbor] have applied for state liquor licenses that will allow them to sell beer, wine and liquor, although the park plans to offer only beer at this time. 'For some time now, many of our guests have requested beer as an option while enjoying a meal at the park,' said John Bement, senior vice president of in-park services." I think it's clever of him to position it merely as a dinner option. It almost makes you think everyone goes to water parks for the fine dining experience.

But remember last year? Remember all those shiny, wholesome objectives? "1) to make the parks more like those operated by...Disney; and 2) to change the customer base from teenagers, who buy low-margin season passes and then loiter around the parks without spending much cash, to free-spending upscale families."

At a Disney park, everything is spotless and everyone is maniacally helpful. Disney World's Magic Kingdom doesn't even serve alcohol. It's been 18 months and Six Flags can't even give their roller coasters a fresh coat of paint. They are the Bizarro Disney. They have discovered that being family-friendly is hard work. Much easier: get a liquor license and gear up for overflow crowds from events at the new Cowboys stadium.


HighJive said...

Here’s why people should be drinking at Six Flags. BTW, do they fly the Six Flags at half-staff after fatalities?

Make the logo bigger said...

Every time I see that creepy old guy dancing in their ads, I wanna drink.

James-H said...

NOTICE: the lure of a $9 Miller Lite in a plastic cup will probably not be enough to make me brave the Traffic at Arlington for a whirl on the Gravitron.

(Nor was it enough to draw me over there to watch the Rangers lose.)

Irene Done said...

Yeah, I don't think the liquor is meant to attract any new visitors—just to wring a few more dollars outa the poor bastards who are already stuck there. (Full disclosure: I hate Six Flags. If they'd just invest in maintenance and landscaping, it'd be a different story. Honest.)

So, to me, the move just seems really, really cynical.