Friday, December 28, 2007

Six Flags is going to sell alcohol whether you like it or not

In just two weeks, the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission has received over 500 phone calls opposing Six Flags' liquor application. It's mostly irrelevant, though, since any complaints have to be submitted in written form and based on legal grounds.

What really offends me, I think, is the park's insistence that this is something its visitors want: "'We've had far more guests, including moms and dads, that have requested this as an option while they were dining than those who have responded negatively to this decision now.'" Again with the dining angle. Such horseshit. Surprisingly, it's a politician who gets to the truth here: "Councilman Mel LeBlanc, who represents Arlington's entertainment district, said he is neutral on the issue. He added that Six Flags' business nationwide has been hurting and that alcohol sales could help the local parks make more money. 'If they can't turn a profit, there won't be any more Six Flags in Arlington.'" That's neutral?


HighJive said...

Would liquor at Six Flags really boost profits?

Admittedly, I don’t go to Six Flags. But when I did, it always seemed to be your typical high-priced excursion. Like sporting events and movie theaters, the concession prices are jacked up to the max. With that in mind, would visitors really be interested in a $20 Dixie® cup of Pabst Blue Ribbon? I would argue, given the nation’s obesity epidemic, Six Flags could actually realize greater profits by reducing concession prices. That way, the family would be more inclined to order two extra large pizzas versus one.

It shouldn’t matter if protestors need a legal basis for complaining. It certainly didn’t stop 500 callers. Six Flags must clearly consider the issue, as it ultimately affects attendance levels.

There are certainly better options for increasing profits. Hell, why not sell lottery tickets? Or better yet, erect gentlemen’s clubs for the bored dads.

On a completely unrelated tangent, it’s funny to see an involved councilman named Mel LeBlanc. Wasn’t Mel Blanc the voice of so many Looney Tunes characters?

Make the logo bigger said...

I’ve been there once. A Johnny Dangerously once. And I will never go back.

Took the kids while they were both in high school a few years ago before they got out for the summer. They invited friends, we drive the 2.5 hours to Jackson, (south of where I’m at). Each was going to break off with their friends and go their own way—one group to the water park side, the other to the regular part.

Water park: closed for private party. NO mention on their asshat website either or at the main gate. Their website even lists a calendar of events. (Guess a Lee Greenwood concert in August rates over telling me don't bother coming down tomorrow.)

Regular rides? A Tom Berringer in Platoon “I shit you not”: half the rides were closed and unable to open, including their showcase Kingdom Kha.

Oh, it gets better: it was also school trip day with thousands of others descending on the park in June–like 90° June.

So yeah, I got something for the dancing old guy.

HighJive said...

hm. sounds like the folks running the park are already hitting the booze.

Irene Done said...

Highjive -- you are exactly right about Mel Blanc. I thought that was a hysterical similarity too. And yes, someone ought to be concerned that 500 can be troubled to call at this time of year to complain.

MTLB -- your experience was pretty typical.

It's not that I object to booze. It's just that it's not something anyone's been clamoring for. It's not like the parks have several first-rate, sit-down dining venues that could be launched to 5-star status with the addition of beer and wine. It's a pure money thing that requires no substantial investment of time, money or effort on Six Flags' part. It does not, for the average park visitor, improve the overall experience.

James-H said...

Slots. Now THAT would be a draw. And more on-brand. NOW bring on the booze.

Irene Done said...

James-H -- I salute your genius. Slots is, indeed, the answer to all our problems.

Anonymous said...

They sell alcohol at the Six Flags here in Montreal (at least, I think they do... they sold beer atthe amusement park before it was bought by Six Flags...).

It's funny - in France, you get booze everywhere. No one bats an eye when they sell booze at the oddest places... You can even buy beer at McDonald's. But you don't see people stumbling around the burger joint making asses of themselves (well, no more than they would sober). But with the drink-till-you-drop culture in North America...hmm...