The Europeans are so much more refined, no?

Remember: If you humiliate a homeless man by dumping a magnum of champagne over his head at a public gathering, try to set things right by offering him your Mont Blanc pen.

Behind the curve, again

It used to be that when I went out to nice places in Dallas, I'd worry about being underdressed. Now I worry about being under-enhanced.

Quote of the day

Has to be this: "She's got the gay gun-nut demographic sewn up."

How do ya feel about product placement?

Fresh off last night's puzzling, yet prominent mention of the Marquis Jet Card in the middle of American Idol, Adjab notices a new variation of product placement called "Ailment Placement." The possibilities are, well, nauseating.

The story of tilapia

Just last week, a friend and I went to dinner. He ordered tilapia. I asked him what that was. All he knew was that it was fish so I claimed that "tilapia" was in fact the Spanish word for plankton. Brows furrowed. Worried silence ensued. He was pretty sure I was joking but neither of us could be sure I was wrong. Now we know I was both kidding and wrong.

Bigger is better

It's a bad sign when a news executive starts talking about the quality of his channel's viewers instead of the quantity. It's NBC's strategy now and it was CNN's strategy back in January 2002 when everyone thought Fox News' ratings coup was just a fluke. CNN hasn't been back on top since. Advertisers tend to care about stuff like that.

Quote of the day

Is this: "I have no bumperstickers, for the same reason I do not paste editorials with which I agree on the seat of my pants."

Times Square goes swoosh

More proof that Nike has been cooler longer than any other brand. And nice use of the term "well-heeled."

Tone-deaf at Yahoo, dumb at Warner

Yahoo gets in on the online music subscription action. I'm not optimistic for them. I just don't believe in the rent-a-tune business model because I don't believe people want to spend time and money downloading songs only to lose them at some point in the future.

What's interesting is that the subscription approach is being pushed by record companies. With a subscription, "consumers are more likely to sample songs from relatively unknown artists, a phenomenon that helps the industry create more moneymaking stars...[and] the record labels might gain more negotiating leverage to pressure Apple into renting songs instead of simply selling them." That's right. It's all about re-making the iTunes store. Record labels are helping push a method of music distribution that consumers really haven't asked for so they can change a service consumers really do want. Yeah. That'll work.

Meanwhile, Warner Music dropped its initial public offering price then saw their stock slide more during first-day trading. Seems investors aren't eager to hand Warner $500 million when the company has already announced that only $7 million of it will actually go to promoting and growing the business. Hmm. I guess THAT'S the way to create more moneymaking stars!

TiVo learns that it's all in the delivery

For Mother's Day, TiVo gave away free units to new moms at a local hospital. This could have been a brilliant move for TiVo. You know the family's going to be house-bound for awhile so you've got an ideal customer. Judging from comments at Lost Remote alone, it makes a popular giveaway. And most important, TiVo users so love the product that they usually convince two other people to buy their own.

There was just one glitch.

TiVo chose Parkland, an inner city hospital; "the company showed up with certificates printed only in English. Most of Parkland's maternity patients are fluent only in Spanish....the women also were confused. Maria Ramirez, a 26-year-old Mesquite woman, juggled her crying 2-day-old daughter as a Spanish translator explained that she was now a proud TiVo owner. 'Is it for babies?' Ms. Ramirez asked."

Oh well. A for concept. D for execution.

Wherein I presume to advise Lord & Taylor

While Conde Nast spends millions on a campaign to convince marketers that people really do engage with print advertising, its employees go and undermine the whole damn thing. From today's Page Six: "Lord & Taylor department store chain recently sent the publishing empire cases of coupons...which were supposed to be inserted in magazines. While the boxes have been declared missing by Condé Nast, employees of the publishing house have shown up at the Fifth Avenue flagship store to use fistfuls of the coupons on major purchases. An insider said, 'And there's nothing Lord & Taylor can do.'"

Actually there's quite a lot Lord & Taylor can do. The leak to The Post was a start. Also consider a threat to re-evaluate some media buys. Then have a close look to see how those PID numbers match up with the purchaser info (you did use PID numbers, right?) and reveal suspicious purchasers to Conde Nast. Because in an age when magazines are fighting to stay alive, any employee who cheats a faithful advertiser should be shitcanned.

And yes, I said "shitcanned!"

What we know and what we should know

Another person finds that the NYTimes sometimes gets it all wrong. Lucky for us, Seth Godin responds to snideness with an invaluable list of things good marketers should know. Example: "If you are marketing from a fairly static annual budget, you’re viewing marketing as an expense. Good marketers realize that it is an investment."

As long as there is junk mail, bland products, and clueless salespeople, there is a need for Seth Godin to write books. If the NYTimes were right and Godin's only reinforcing what we all know, then there's a lot of marketers with some 'splaining to do.

Like Teresa Brewer, all we want is music, music, music

A few months ago, I wanted to post something about the Samsonite Spinners TV spot. I was mesmerized by its Sergio Mendes-like music and circa-1971 movie look (you know -- those movies that were always about heiresses who wear really sheer, form-fitting blouses and have doomed affairs with Italian Formula One racecar drivers -- you know) but I couldn't find any info on it. Today I crawled out from under my rock and noticed that Slate featured something on Samsonite last month, complete with details about the music (it's original) and the color of the luggage (red, to appeal to women). Reading about that spot just makes me want to watch it over and over. And over. It's the samba-est!

Samsonite's musical choice is especially brilliant considering there are times when a commercial can nearly kill a song. (Warning: anecdote-y, non-substantiated evidence to follow). DJs who work receptions now say that the song appearing most on their Do Not Play lists is "You Look Wonderful Tonight" -- a song that had been a perennial favorite at weddings. Why? Because SBC Yahoo!'s media buy in some markets is just running the hell out of a single Eric Clapton TV spot. So, for most people, the song can no longer have a personal meaning. It's as soul-stirring as "uh-oh Spaghetti-ohs."

And because I do live under a rock -- one that is tucked away in a cave that itself is tucked away on a deserted island -- I never know what music is used in which commercials. Thank goodness for Adtunes.

Two things about Kingdom of Heaven

Perhaps a more apt title would have been "Hell of a Mess." And when it comes to staging seige tower warfare, not even Sir Ridley Scott can top the War Lord.

Spitzer is just warming up

After the vein in my forehead stopped visibly throbbing and I reflected further on my post about Eliot Spitzer, I began to wonder if I had been too forgiving of Intermix, the agency Spitzer has sued for illegal spyware use. Then I read this, an article enchantingly titled "Who Will Eliot Spitzer Sue Next?" (reg. req.) In it, author Mark Naples reveals that Spitzer is not really so concerned about your privacy after all:

"[T]his is not a privacy lawsuit...It's more of a disclosure lawsuit, which is why so many people in the privacy community have been scratching their heads about it. See, Intermix's disclosure language is almost identical to the disclosure language of just about every other company in their space. So, why go after Intermix? If the attack is on spyware, why not go after a range of companies that have similar business practices? 'It's a warning shot across the bow to the entire industry,' said Eric Howes of Spyware Warrior....'What he's doing here is more about establishing his authority.'"

Spitzer, a consumer rights poseur? That's hardly surprising. But this might be:

"[T]ake a moment to discern who his office will be targeting next. Some industry-watchers are speculating that it could be Yahoo!, since many adware companies leverage what used to be Overture keyword buys. After all, what Spitzer's office calls 'affirmative consent' is what people in our industry used to call 'opt-out.'"

A battle with Yahoo! is just the thing to keep the pre-gubernatorial hype going. All while making online commerce not safer, only more cumbersome. Can I move to New York just to vote against this guy?

Meet me at the lifestyle center, okay?

After this year, Nike will no longer sell their shoes at Sears. For a marketer like Nike, who wants to sell an experience as well as a product, the Sears-Kmart environment just isn't cool enough. "'Advertisers are learning that where they sell their products has tremendous effects,'" says one analyst. What's needed is a place "'where your product values are reinforced by the venue.'"

In fact, malls aren't cool enough. More and more retailers are seeking out lifestyle centers (go ahead, cringe at the term. I do.) described as "small, convenient, open-air retailing complexes...laid out to evoke the small-town shopping districts." Translation: no teenagers, mall walkers or parking garages. And for the second post in a row, I'm reminded of Jennifer Rice's remark that people want to belong -- in this case, people want to belong somewhere cool. So no Orange Julius!

Outside In

In a post about the value of bringing an outsider's perspective to your business, the Fast Company blog offers this quote by a dead media critic: "'I don't know who discovered water, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't a fish.'" Pithy. But isn't there a more timely illustration of this point? Why yes there is. And it happens to be discussed at length in today's New York Sun: "The idea of Pajamas Media is to use an extensive network of globally affiliated blogs to provide first-person, in-depth coverage of most major news events." People outside the news media are spearheading an exciting new approach to news media because so few people in news media saw a need. And what's truly amazing is that, as far as I know, none of the people behind Pajamas Media is a McKinsey consultant.

Well, people outside advertising sometimes create the most talked-about ads. And people outside the music industry can still break through. So if you're in these industries -- if this is what you've spent years training for -- are you hosed?

Maybe not. When Jennifer Rice talks about "co-creation," it's easy to think her advice is just for brands. But it's for everyone in the communication, entertainment and service fields. When she writes "a basic human need -- belonging -- is no longer being met. And over the years, consumers stopped having a voice and companies stopped listening," it blends nicely with this point by Newsosaur: "[today's journalists] have lost the common touch that once connected us viscerally with our readers." So yes, bring in the outsider. Preferably before they overtake you. Because when your training or work routine or world view start to isolate or insulate you, others now have the tools to work around you. Sing it with me children, "Reach out and touch somebody's hand. Make your world a better place, if you can."

They lied about the decoder rings

Once, we were told secret powers lay in Super Man's secret compartment ring and Dick Tracy's radio watch. But that was not to be. The only accessory that's a necessity (a necessory?) is our cell phone. In fact, there's no reason at all to wear a watch nowadays. Unless, that is, kids download so many costly ringtones that their parents take their cell phones away. Nah. Why not just sue instead?

The client made us do it

A new blog that critiques ads from a client's perspective. Interesting. But personally, I think their logo should be bigger.

Dear Mr. Jobs, I'm sorry I got mad about that whole book banning thing...

That is so in the past. Now PSFK links to this AP interview with trendier-than-thou Marc Ecko who says, "In order for a brand to exist and survive and be relevant you must exist in multiple space....Music, movies, video games, cellphones, clothing....Apple is the brand of the future....If Apple opened a hotel today I would stay in an Apple hotel. Their products are instantly gratifying, they empower people and they do it through design."