Jim Keyes likes it quick and clean

Here's what 7-Eleven CEO Jim Keyes has to say about competitors Krispy Kreme, Starbucks and McDonalds: "'We actually like the work that [they] have done in elevating the perception of portable fast food and drink for the consumer.'" He's good. In the cleverest way possible, he's admitting that 7-Eleven didn't care about perception until Starbucks came along. But then he gets a little nouveau riche and starts looking down on where he's just come from. Mom-and-pop shops, says Keyes, need "'to uplift the image of convenience...sometimes [consumers] walk into a mom-and-pop and they think they are in a 7-Eleven, but they are really not.'"

So you there with the burglar bars and hand-lettered signs? Quit bringing down the category.